As referenced in my introduction Podcast soon to come, Anchored In Love (AIL) is in large part inspired by my mother. Six months ago (sometimes it still feels like it isn't real...) I lost my mother to a battle with stomach cancer. I don't want to get into all of the details now as I'm sure I will share more with you as the blog continues, but I will share that we had the dreadfully beautiful opportunity to know of her death's approach. With such time we were able to prepare for it together with family and friends in whatever ways one can "prepare". I never imagined sitting in a rom with my brother's discussing my mother's funeral service with her- but there we were. She requested that we all (my three brothers and I) share at her funeral. Daunting.
And then within a month's time I found myself laying on her bed, utterly drained from visitation, a blank notes page on my phone, reflecting on how I could possibly articulate a lifetime of love to a crowd of people I felt could never understand who she was to me. These were the words I tearfully spoke. These were the truths that motivated me then and continue to now. Thes were the thoughts that brought AIL alive.
Mama has always called me her strong anchor. Starting with Jr. Bible Quiz and continuing through life as I grew. Honestly and not trying to be humble, I never really understood what she saw in me to make her believe I was her "strong anchor". Nonetheless being “her” anything was and always will be enough; it didn’t matter what the words following were. But I think she had it backwards because now I see more than ever that she is the anchor.
She is my anchor.
You see, an anchor is cast into the sea so that the vessel does not drift unnecessarily and holds its footing during storms and rough weather. That was mom, for me, for all of us. She is what grounds me, what gives me my footing. She always kept me from drifting in life. She is what held me steady through the treacherous waters that sometimes life causes us to endure.
Thinking on this lead me to take the time to study what it means to be anchored and with every word I read I felt closer and closer to my mama. In order for a boat to be anchored the vessel must slow down and move into position. This helps the vessel be anchored with more ease. Mom was always patient. She allowed us to find our own positions in this world, in our own timing, always with love through the process. Mom had a way of gentleness (and persistence) in her love which allowed myself, and I think all of us, the opportunity to “position” ourselves for success and learn along the way.
Then the anchor is cast and must reach the sea bed. Mom was never intimidated by the depths of any challenge-mine or her own. She was my anchor that went before me, into the depths, to reach the sea bed to secure me through the storms. After the full length of the anchor has been dropped the ship must go in reverse this will ensure that the anchor digs into the sea bed. Mom never gave just a part of herself. No, she would give all of herself, her “full length” for my sake, for our sake. She did not hesitate to redo life and help me relearn or reflect to ensure I dug into the sand in order to be fully secure. For only when the anchor digs into the sea bed does it promise the vessel is stable.
Finally, at some point the anchor must be removed with a little force. The bigger the anchor is the more force that is required to remove it. Mom was a force, but trust me it will take an even larger force to remove her from this vessel. You see The longer a vessel is anchored the more force is required to remove it, since the more firmly it gets entangled into the ground below the water.
Praise God for My strong anchor who has entangled me, grounded me, gone before me, granted me safety and security, and who continues to ensure whatever comes in this life I shall not drift.
I love you mama, forever. And I’m so blessed to be anchored in your love.
She lives in you sweet Nornie💜
Lauren you so eloquently encapsulated what I’ve been trying to say about my own mother for years. Thanks for being vonerable and writing this. It’s beautiful.
So beautifully written - about your mom ..I remember her smile. she always gave to me ❤️